Better Dead Than Awake
by Blue-Pia
Summary: Lucius Malfoy scaped from Askaban and killed Narcissa in front of Draco, now he lives with his only relative left. He has also been dreaming with a mysterious girl that helps him to fight his ghosts. But what happens if this girl is real?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclamer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters in the book**

Chapter 1

_He woke up in his bed scared....he thought he had herd his mother scream....other scream...."Mother!" he said in a whisper, rushed out of the bed and downstairs._

_"Lucius, please leave Draco alone, let him be happy, I beg you!" Narcissa said desperatly at his feet._

_"Shut up bitch!" he said as she kicked her, sending him far through the floor "he's going to be happy serving the Dark Lord, now for you...I don't think you'll be useful from now on so...." He pointed his wand at her, Draco's heart started beating faster, "Stop it!" he shouted, Lucius looked at him and the Malfoy's usual grim appeared on his face._

_"Very good Draco, I'm glad you'll cooperate, come here" Draco hesitated "Come on Draco, you don't want to see your Mother get hurt now, do you?" Draco had to put away his fears and walked to where his father was. "Crabbe" said Lucius "Grab the boy". Crabbe went near Draco and grabbed him by the shoulders, Draco din't fight, he thought it would be better that way._

_"My dear Narcissa, you were a good wife, and for that I'll make it quick and painless" Draco wasn't able to think when..."Avada Kedavra" a green light went from the wand to his Mother's body, when it touched her she inmediatly feel to the floor and laid there motionless._

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Draco screamed._

"Draco! Draco! Calm down! It's OK it was juts a nightmare" said Tonks hugging the boy, he was sweating and his faced was full of fear, pain and anger. He rested his head on his hands, and then got up of the bed and lokked himself in the mirror, he had changed his eyes where darker and full of pain, his face whiter and he looked older, his hair had grown....he looked like his father....he couldn't stand it....it seemed like Tonks knew what he was thinking cause she said "What do you think if we cut you're hair tomorrow? Something that can say 'I'm Draco Malfoy, just me, nobody else'"

Draco looked at her and nodded, she liked her more everyday, she treated him like her brother, she took care of him, but not out of pity, but out of love, tender love of a sister. Tonks had told Draco some time ago that her mother had kept in contact with her and Andromeda, and that she had asked if they could take care of Draco, if anything happened to her. Tonks took the job, and there he was.

The girl got up of the bed and went to hug him "Go to sleep now Draco. I promise everything will be better from now on". Draco smiled and said "Thank you". "For what are you thanking me" she said looking at him "the only one you have to thank is God for letting us find you in time." Then she kissed him in the forehead and went out of the room. Draco remembered what happened that night after his father had killed Mother. He was still trapped in Crabbe's arms he tried to free himself but couldn't, his father was laughing, "Let him go" he said with a laugh "This will be the last time he cries, Death Eater's don't cry" he was freed and he runned to where his mother's body was lying, he lifted her up and hugged her, and that's when he heard an explosion caused by and Auror's spell that hitted the door.

"Aurors!" said his father "Let's get out of here!" then he looked at him "We'll meet each other again, Draco" and they where gone. Then the Aurors came and took care of him, and now he was living with Tonks, in her little and home-like house.

_He got himself into the bed again and tried not to think on his mother, but he couldn't, he fell asleep._

_He woke up in his bed scared....he thought he had herd his mother scream....other scream...."Mother!" he said in a whisper, rushed out of the bed and downstairs._

_"Lucius, please leave Draco alone, let him be happy, I beg you!" Narcissa said desperatly at his feet._

_"Shut up bitch!" he said as she kicked her, sending him far through the floor "he's going to be happy serving the Dark Lord, now for you...I don't think you'll be useful from now on so...." He pointed his wand at her, Draco's heart started beating faster...."Calm down!, I'm here now" he looked at the hand that was on his shoulder, and then her face, her beautiful brown-greenish eyes her long hair, her white dress, he turned around and hugged her. "I was starting to miss you!"._

When Draco woke up with a smile in his face because she had dreamt about her again, he remember the first time that this had happened. It had been like two weeks after his father was sent to Askaban. He and his mother discovered that Lucius had had them under the Imperius Curse from long ago. This meant that his true self was starting to act freely, and have it's own dreams and opinions, he really didn't know what to do with all this, and he felt that he had to be strong for his mother, because she was very weak, and so he kept everything inside. As a natural reaction of his brain every night he had nightmares, until she appeared.

He was in one of his nightmares and then he woke up, but he wasn't on his bed, he was in a dark cold room, so dark that he couldn't see what was 2 inches away but he could see his whole body. He was sitting on the floor, with his arms around his knees, and then he heard a voice. "It's a woman" he thought, and he saw her; she was in a white dress, so white that she looked like an angel, and had long brown hair; her skin was as white as her dress, and when she laid her beautiful brown-greenish eyes upon him he felt something warm filling him from inside to outside. Then she smiled. "Hi" she said "I guess you're new". He didn't know what she meant by this but he didn't dare to ask. Since then he dreamed about her three or four times a week, they started a beautiful friendship through the dreams. She was often singing he could hear the songs in her mind, this had made Draco listen to music, muggle and wizard music, and he had started playing guitar, he was pretty good, with this he scaped from his problems. When his mother was murdered he dreamed about her more often, almost every night, she prevented his nightmares.

He had figured out a theory that explained her appearance in his dreams; she was his conscience that was helping him to figure out who he was and fight his ghosts.

After thinking about all this stuff he got out of the bed and went to take a shower. Downstairs Tonks listened to him; she was impressed of how he had changed. From a spoiled child, with an ego the size of the Everest and worse manners than those of a dog he had became a mature, calmed young man, and it was pleasant to be with him.

"Good Morning Draco!" she said when she heard him running through the stairs, "Hi" he said with a smile on his face when he reached the kitchen.

"Are you ready for cutting your hair", he nodded. And she took out the sissors casted a spell and let it do the work, directing it with her mind. When Draco lokked again in the mirror he was surprised of how the hair could change a person. His hair was a bit shorter, untidier and spiky. "Thanks" he said, she smiled, he was directing himself upstairs when Tonks said "Draco I promise you that we will catch your father again, and this time he won't be able to scape, cause she won't have Belatrix to help him, we'll catch her too" Draco just nodded and went upstairs.

Tonks sighted "I hope we can do it quickly"

_"Why do you appear in my dreams?" Draco asked touching her face.She smiled and...._

Suddenly he heard a scream...He run into the kitchen to find Tonks on the floor screaming in pain and the responsible was Belatrix Lestrange. Next to her stood his father laughing.

"Stop!" Draco screamed.

"Draco, what a nice surprise, come with us, we came for you, we're going away from this country for a while".

"I won't go with you" Draco responded.

"You won't?...are you sure? Imperius!"

The curse had been used on him so many times that the effect was immediate. He heard a voice inside him, but it sounded like his father's. "Draco, get up! get up an grab your wand! Very well Draco! Now let's go out, to the muggle London!" He had a vague idea of what he was doing. "Kill Draco, Kill!" He didn't see anything, but he heard his own voice say "Avada Kedavra!"

What? Was he killing somebody?...Laughter..."They are laughing" he thought...."Now we've got to go for Dumbledore's niece"

...That was the last thing he heard....

He felt his body falling through darkness, quicker and quicker every second. He opened his eyes to find himself in a bed, not his bed; he looked around...Was he in a hospital? The nurse opening the door responded his question "Mr. Malfoy, what a pleasure to see you awake, just in time to receive your visitors. I'll tell them that they can come in". He had no time to respond, she was gone already. He waited for a minute or two, then the door opened again, and the headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore entered the room, followed by his ex-teacher of Defense Against The Dark Arts Remus Lupin and the eccentric Mad-Eye Moody.

"Mr. Malfoy" said Dumbledore. He was talking excessively serious. "We have some news for you". Draco nodded and the old man proceeded. "You've been unconscious for a day; the shock your brain received because of being victim, once more, of the Imperius curse was too big. I must also inform you about what you did in that state, but I must remind you that you couldn't, by any chance, have control upon your acts. Mr.Malfoy", as he said this his face became more serious , "you attacked your aunt Nymphadora Tonks and injured her badly and" he paused "...and....you killed a muggle with one of the unforgivable curses..."

"Avada Kedavra...", Draco whispered. No one could see a single expression on his face, nothing on his outside could tell the world how he was feeling, and how could it, when even himself didn't know.

"Yes Mr. Malfoy" responded Dumbledore, Moody interrupted "But you've got nothing to worry about, kid. The law stipulates that if a person that's under the Imperius curse kills or injures or steals he can't be punished because he isn't aware of his acts"

"Oh! what a relief" thought Draco. "I've killed someone innocent and injured badly the one person that has accepted me as I am and received me as her own son, but I should not worry because I ain't going to be punished?" Even as he thought this he just responded by nodding; the people on his room kept talking, but he wasn't listening..."How's Tonks?" he asked

Lupin was the one who answered now. "Nymphadora is fine, she's just feeling pain from the recently cured broken bones and has a headache, but she has been conscious for a few hours...Well...I think we should go..." They kept talking but for Draco the words were just sounds out of shape. He then suddenly noticed that they had left...he tried to sleep, maybe his conscience would help him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The 1st of September came at last and the beginning of a new term at Hogwarts School had all the students expectant. This was because they wanted to see who was going to be the new Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher, and, because everyone had heard the news, they wanted to see how was the powerful and feared Draco Malfoy taking the fact that his beloved father had killed his mother and was being chased by Aurors and members of the Order Of The Phoenix, for those who knew it's existence. Plus, there were some students who had heard the rumour that Dumbledore's niece was entering Hogwarts.

Draco had gone out of St.Mungo's three weeks ago. The nights in there he tried very hard to dream with his conscience, but all his dreams were about that innocent muggle that he had killed. He guessed that she had given up on trying to show him the way. He was a helpless case since he had murdered someone.

This made Draco feel lonelier and he slowly turned back to the way he used to be before his parents had gone. His soul was being trapped in his body, and he wouldn't do anything to help it, the only person he would talk to nicely was Tonks; they were now like sister and brother.

She accompanied Draco to the platform 9 ¾ . Everyone would look at him and whisper something to the person beside. But he didn't mind the muttering, he had other things on his mind. He didn't even notice when the fantastic trio passed him by and greeted Tonks. He kissed her goodbye and sat on an empty compartment. Suddenly he realized that the train had started at least half an hour ago. He could hear some Gryffindors talking on the next compartment.

"Well, I'm going to look for Ginny, maybe she has seen my wand, Wow! Look out Seamus!"

"Sorry Ron!" said Seamus, the door maid a noise as it was shut "Hey guys!, have you heard about Dumbledore's niece?" he asked as he entered. Longbottom answered "Yes, you know, the uncle with whom she was living was killed by Lucius Malfoy"

Draco felt a non-existent needle penetrating his stomach. His father had one more person in his long list of killed people.

"Yes, and she's entering our same year, I hope she's sorted in Gryffindor 'cause I've heard that she's hot! If this is true just give me a night with her and I'll give Dumbledore a grandson"

"You guys are all the same!" screamed Granger "I will not tolerate this anymore!" the door was slammed, Draco supposed that she had gone out. Or not? The door was being opened again "What's wrong with her?" "Oh! Weasley is back" Draco thought, "she was screaming like mad 'guys, all the same! I can't have that!' What the hell were you talking about for her to react like that!?"

"Seamus came here to tell us about Dumbledore's niece" explained Potter "and he was saying that there are rumours that say that she is hot and..."

"No need to continue" said Weasley "I'm supposing how it ends. Yes, Hayley's hot, and beautiful, very beautiful…"

"Hayley??" said Seamus "that's her name??" Draco assumed that Weasley had nodded because Seamus continued; "And why the hell we don't know her name and you do? … And why didn't you tell us!?!?"

"Oh well, I didn't think it was so important…I know her name because I know her, she spent this summer with me" responded Weasley.

"I remember know" said Potter " so the girl that was in you house when I went to visit you with Hermione was Dumbledore's niece…But she didn't seem to talk much"

"Well, it's obvious that she didn't talk, two days had passed since her uncle had died, but she talked to you a bit, didn't she Harry?"

"Another broken heart by the Boy-Who-Lived" said Seamus laughing.

"Shut up!" responded Potter "Yes I talked to her a bit...isit true that she didn't know that she was a witch until now?"

"Yes" said Weasley "Dumbledore did it for her protection "I suppose he didn't want to suffer other loss like the one of his sister..."

"Dumbledore had a sister too??" asked Potter.

"Yes" said Longbottom "She was much younger than him, she was my mother's friend. Dumbledore was very overprotective towards her, but I guess she didn't wanted to be so protected. So one day she scaped from the hiding Dumbledore had given her and Voldemort killed her, they say that she was very powerful, that she saw things that would happen in her dreams..."

They kept talking but Draco wasn't listening anymore. Draco realized how much he had changed. The old Draco would have said the same thing Seamus did and would have accomplished it. He thought in all the girls he had conquered to have them for a night and then left them suffering.

When the train arrived the whole school knew about Dumbledore's niece, but no one had seen her. They were taken to the school by the usual horseless carriages (that now Draco didn't see so horsless, but he knew what Thestrals where, so he understood). When the whole school was sitting at their house tables, the first years entered. Then they all noticed that at the end of the long row of first years stood an older girl. She was about 5'3, and had a beautiful long brown hair with brown greenish eyes. She was red with embarrassment, and she became redder when she noticed that all the people on the room were looking at her. Everyone but Draco, who was looking absent-mindedly at the teacher's table. The usual grin of all the Malfoys wasn't present on his face. Actually, Draco couldn't remember the last time he had really smiled, with all the emotions that smiling implies. He had become emaciated due to his internal struggle.

"Draco, what do you think of her for your first night of the year, I bet she is hotter naked" said Crabbe. Draco looked at him confussed, as he had just noticed where he was, because he hadn't talked with his so called friends since the beginning of the summer break, he didn't want to talk to him eather, his father had halped Lucius. Crabbe didn't seem to notice as he pointed towards the direction of the girl. Draco followed slowly the finger; he saw the first years and then he noticed the brown hair; it was long, and it fell like a waterfall throughout the girl's head and body, first straight and smooth and at the end untidy and curly. It reminded him of someone....

" Abernethy, Jake" McGonagall had started with the long list of names. "Ravenclaw......" the sorting hat would scream, other names were said, but Draco wasn't hearing; he was interested in the girl. She was looking down to her feet, so her face couldn't be seen. They where in "Lawrence, Samantha" when she looked to her side, to the Gryffindor table; she greeted with a kiss.... Weasley?!?! Then with her hand to Potter and Granger...oh...then he remembered what he had heard on the train. Dumbledore's niece had spent with the Weasleys her summer..."oh well, although I like her hair she is Weasley's friend so she must be a mudblood lover...Why am I thinking like my father?...I gotta stop this..."

The girl looked forward and Draco almost fell from his chair. Could it be? Brown greenish eyes, soft skin, the only thing missing was the white dress. But what was his conscience doing at school? She was supposed to be in his head...and she hadn't been there for the last month. Could he have been dreaming with a real person?...It seemed like he had. And, had she dreamt with him.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Hayley was standing nervously in the Great Hall, at least seeing Ron had calmed her a little. She couldn't bealive that one month ago she thought that she was a common muggle, except for thouse dreams, but she was used to them she had had them since she was a girl, plus her uncle, Jeremy, said that they were normal. She had lived with Jeremy since she could remember, he was her father's brother, both muggles.

It happened the day before Jeremy was killed. The doorbell rang, she ran to get it but her uncle got there faster, when he opened it an old man appeared, Jeremy said "Dumbledore, I wasn't expecting you so soon". The old man, Dumbledore, replied "It was necesary Jeremy, she's geting stronger, I'm afraid for Hayley". At that moment Hayley started to remeber, obviously both man didn't know that she was listening, but she could remeber the man in one of her dreams, then he looked at her, "You recognised me already, Hayley?" she nodded.

They sat in the livingroom, both of them where looking at her with a serious expression. the Dumbledore took out a long stick and said some words, Hayley saw a wirldwind of images and then she fainted, later she was explained that it had happened cause it was too much information for her brain.

When she woke up she knew everything; her mother had been a very powerful witch, she was Dumbledore's sister. Her mother had had a dream, a premonition, that she, her daughter, was going to be a very important character in the war between the boy who lived and Lord Voldemort, this was why she was hidden as a muggle, her mother had also had another premonition, there was other boy, who would have to choose the path to follow, the one of light or the one of dark, and that she, Hayley, was the one to help him, still nobody knew who this boy was, the only thing that they knew is that this boy was going to show his true self once the prophecy was reavealed to the boy who lived, "This should happen soon" said Dumbledore. Hayley had been teached by her uncle, Dumbledore, through her dreams. This dreams had the same power than her mother's, Hayley had had dreams about her mother too, the only thing that Dumbledore couldn't explain was who was the blond boy that appeared in her dreams.

Hayley's thoughts where interrumpted by McGonagall's voice, "Hayley Presscott" she called. Hayley walked towards the sorting hat, Draco watched and thought...she wouldn't be in Slytherin, he knew it, she was too good for it...but the hope remained in his heart,..."Gryffindor"...he knew it.

She walked and sat next to Ron she looked happy and she hadn't noticed him.

"Ron!!" she said as she sitted next to the red haired boy, then she hugged him, "I was so worried, I didn't want to be in a house where I knew nobody" then she looked around "So...you must be Hermione, Ron told me a lot about you." and then she looked at Harry "Harry" she said with a smile "It's good to see you again".Dumbledore stood up and everybody stopped talking "I must inform the first years and remind the rest of the school that the Forbiden Forest is out of bounds, for more information you may ask Mr.Filch." he made a little pause, then continued "We've got a new student entering the sixth year, and as it was secret I'm sure you all know that she is my niece."

"Other subject; last year all the quidditch house capitains gradueted, so, we'll name the new capitains." The whole school broke the silence and started muttering, all the Slytherins were patting Draco in the back, and all the Gryffindors to Harry.

"Ravenclaw....CHO CHANG!!!" Everyone applauded, and Ron hitted Harry with his elbow, but Harry looked at him and very seriously said "no, not anymore"...Dumbledore continued "Hufflepuff...Brock Triggs" applause...."Slytherin...Draco Malfoy" only the Slytherins applauded...but Draco wasn't ....he had thought of quiting Quidditch this year...well, he'd talk to Snape later, though he know that the possibilities of giving the position of capitain to someone else where little. Draco's thought were interrupted by Dumbledore, "Gryffindor...Harry Potter", now the Slytherin table was the only one not applauding. When everyone had calmed down a bit Hayley congratulated Harry....Draco saw it and he was furious...then he thought that he had no right to feel that way since he hadn't even talked to her....

"Now...You can eat" Dumbledore said and the food appeared on the plates.

A/N: Hayley means 'Hero'. I couldn't find a real HP character to be Hufflepuff's quidditch capitain so I made it up. Brock means 'badger', and Triggs means 'loyal'. PLEASE REVIEW!!!


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